For Immediate Release
Bass Lake Herald
January 31, 2010
Humans determined to have same genes as chickens
An amateur psychologist in Northern Indiana today has announced his findings concluding many years of studying chicken behavior. Although his conclusions at this point are being met with some skepticism, Dr. Charlie Averill announced that his study concludes that human behavior is so like that of the chickens he has raised over the years, that human beings and chickens have the same genes.
Unlike other studies that simply look at various gene samples, Mr. Averill provides overwhelming evidence that the behavior of the two animals are so much alike that no other conclusion is possible.
By observation, Dr. Averill offered the following evidence which in no way should be taken as the total, but merely provides a snippet of his findings.
1. Many humans have medical insurance which takes care of their medical needs, but aren't willing to work towards passage of legislation allowing for their fellow humans to have the same medical care.
Healthy chickens peck their fellow chickens who aren't cared for by a caring hen or fellow chicken.
2. Many humans don't care enough about their elders to work towards prevention of the privatizing of their Social Security.
Younger chickens have the same disregard for senior chickens and often require them to fend for themselves.
3. Many humans are too cheap to help their fellow man in times of trouble or disaster.
Chickens always expect others to care for those chickens who are unable to protect themselves.
4. Many humans who make more or even substantially more than a fair wage/salary always fight an increase in the minimum wage or the possibility of a living wage. Walmart CEO $12,000 per/hour vs. Walmart worker $9-$10 per/hour would be a good example.
Dominant chickens when departing the coop in the morning immediately gobble up as much feed and water as they can before allowing weaker chickens to get even a few scraps.
5. Many humans allow male workers to get paid more than their female counterparts and discriminate against female workers as to treatment on the job and sometimes encourage disharmony by overlooking sexual discrimination.
Chicken roosters, invariable discriminate against hens in almost every way. Sex discrimination is rampant in the yard.
6. Many humans are bigots, discriminating against their fellows that have a different skin color, hair color, language, ethnicity, religion, etc.
Chickens who are in the minority as to feather color, beak color, crow sound, or breed, tend to be constantly pecked on.
7. Many humans disregard the needs of their fellows with disabilities by refusing to put out the necessary funding for the Americans with Disabilities act and those perfectly able to walk a few more feet into an establishment, invariably park in handicapped spaces.
Chickens will immediately peck to death any fellow chick or chicken that shows any sign of injury or handicap.
8. Many humans are against allowing their workers to organize themselves and work tirelessly to disrupt any overture of unionization.
Although chickens appear to understand the value of unionizing, dominant chickens interfere whenever they determine that other chickens are trying to organize.
"The above examples are just a drop in the bucket of similarities between chickens and humans", Averill said. The paper being written by Dr. Averill will soon be published and copies will be available at local bookstores.
